Sir Proudy; A Parody of Saint George the Dragon Slayer.

     Many years ago, in the time of knights, kings, and fancy-prancy nobles, there lived a knight named Saint George. He was braver than most, yes, but he was so narcissistic and prideful that many people called him Sir Proudy. Although, they never say that when he is near, for he would berate them and yell at them until they take back what they said. Ouch!
Beggars would shy away whenever he is near in fear that they would be accused of being thieves. Animals, even the lovely harmless ones, like squirrels and beautiful deer dare not go near in the town where Sir George lives. Those who do, many times, are shot for sport and stuffed for a trophy room. Nobody plays with the little stray cats and dogs, he stuffs them as well. Even the sheep and cows and horses in the farms, he takes those too.
     Miles away from that jerk knight lived a dragon and a princess. The dragon was sweet and gentle, formed soft from being raised as a hatchling by a kindred royal family. The dragon, who could shape-shift into a man, fell in love with a princess, and they were soon to be married. But the dragon was disturbed, what if his wife did not accept him for who he was, a feathered and scaled beast? He didn't think of himself as a beast though, but she might! Feeling determined, he gathered courage and told her. He grew back into his true form to show he wasn't lying. The princess shook her head and smiled. "I love you," she reminded, "even if you were a plucked and one-legged meat chicken, I would still love you."
    Remember that old oaf, Saint George? Well, he heard about that. He did! Off he goes, plop plop plop. Marching to the dragon and princess's castle. He knocked on the door. No response. He took a rock and tried to smash the door open. Nothing. He took a pin out from his hair and began to pick the lock. Who am I kidding? He isn't that smart! He toiled day and night using the pin to carve a hole into it! Once he did, he jumped in. "I AM SAINT GEORGE!" He shrieked, "I AM HERE TO KILL THAT BLOODY TURKEY!"
     "Diddly darn gosh darn it, It's time to go!" muttered the dragon-prince.
he carefully opened the balcony with his clumsy claws and stuck his head out. Too late! Sir Proudy jumped onto the prince's back and stabbed him. With the pin. THE PIN. Well, that was a magic pin, but still! He didn't know that! He's still nonsensical. Uh- anyways, back to the story. Well, the pin made the dragon crumple into a sad heap of hopes and dreams, which Saint George carried to the lavatory. You guessed it, he flushed it down. It clogged it though, so SHAME ON YOU GEORGE! He took the sad, sobbing princess and jumped out of the balcony into the moat. His submarine was there waiting for him, and he entered. The toilet system exited into the moat, and the water revived the dragon. Sooo... he pried open the top and sticked his claw in, trying to take out George. George still had the pin though, so no happy ending for now. He put the submarine on autopilot and drove it out of the water and into the trees. "I AM YOUR HUSBAND NOW!" He screamed in the princess's face as he shook her. But this wasn't your ordinary "help me help me I can't fend for myself and just sit around being pretty" princess. She threw off her dress. SHE WAS A BLACK-BELT NINJA! She took out her katana. (ninja sword) George still had the pin though. he disintegrated the katana. She took out shuriken and threw them at him. Well, he was an overpowered Gary Stu (overpowered and generally over-perfect character), so his unicorn rainbow armor turned those into glitter.
     Five days later, they arrived. Apparently, while they were driving through the trees, they weren't driving THROUGH the trees, they were just stuck inside one. They also had no gas, so they had to fly. They were now at George's SECRET EVIL BASE THING! George smashed his entire body into the door ten times. The doors fell down, and they entered. Well, the dragon-prince lived again because of the water, so he was there first. "I'm here to kill the bloody turkey," The prince said cooly. He took saint George and threw him out of the window. STILL BEING A GARY STU, he came back. with more pins. Hundreds, thousands, MILLIONS OF PINS! Then the fairy stepmother came and made the pins be useless, unless George touches them, then he will disintegrate. "I don't feel so good," George said as he turned into a pile of dust. "I SAID I DON'T FEEL SO GOOD!" he screamed again. The dragon swept up the dust and melted the pins with his fire and turned them into a plaque which he placed where George's dust was. "Here lies Sir Proudy, arrogant, angry, always screeching, but most of all, nobody likes him because he was mean."
     The princess and dragon-prince got married soon after, and everyone lived happily ever after. Livestock could roam and play in the fields where George used to live. Squirrels, birds, and all sorts of wild animals returned to the forest. The poor were helped until they could survive on their own. All was well.

                                                                             THE END!